The "N" Word!

I know that many of my readers will not agree with me on this. I use and have used the "n" word all my life. I am trying to cut down but, I will not stop using it. I am trying to use it more positively. I know you are thinking that it can't be used positively. I looked the word up and in many languages, negro means black. It has no negative connotation. People give it that negativity. I am so tired of White America saying "don't use that word!" I think it reminds them of their past! I wouldn't be able to sleep or live with myself if my past was like theirs! Killings, beatings, oppression, rape! I couldn't sleep a wink with that on my conscience! When the "n" word comes from my mouth, I am not downing or saying anything bad. Occasionally I slip and talk about the fool down the street but, that person isn't necessarily black. I may have caught someone doing something foolish and had a momentary slip. For the most part I think that people are upset about the word because they used to be able to say it, and we couldn't do anything about it. Now, if the word is used by someone of non-color, they expect a swift and lethal beat-down. That's all I have to say about it, what do you think?