I realize that I cannot tell a person who to fall in love with but, I feel that I can steer my son in a good direction. My motto is, "If she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!" It's not about the color, it's about the respect! I want my son to have in-laws who love him for his beautiful spirit and personality. Not because of what he has and can supply them/their family. I want them to have a relationship built on respect. I don't feel these relationships happen in inter-racial relationships. My son says that white girls can't hold his attention. He wants a girl with flava! A girl that he can discuss injustices with that will not poo-poo them. I think I'm doing a good job! I have a friend who told me that her 20 year old son has NEVER dated a black girl! I was saddened and appalled! I asked her if she felt bad about his decision and she told me no! What does it say about her that her son refuses to date black girls? Some will say that it means nothing or it's because of his surroundings. Well, let me say that they lived in an urban area and it does mean something! What do you think?
6 comments:
The friend and son are black? Real quick, I've never dated outside my race for the quote you made - comb/home. I'll reply more but you know what has got me.... well.....
Yes, the friend and son are black. I just cannot imagine my son NEVER bringing home a black girl and me not questioning it!
I come from aniteracial family of sort. My grandmother's father was white so that's pretty close for me. Personally, I think it should be based on many factors when looking into another race when dating and/or going further. One should really research the background of said individual, the parents, the siblings and onwards. I'd hate to have the first line of family love me and then meet Uncle Jimmy who owned slaves.
I really would think twice about it but I would not totally object IF the comfort zone is there. I am more likely to date a Hispanic, Native Indian and ohhhh I dunno who else... someone who's linage is less likely in the discriminatory factor. Not saying that any of those aforementioned could not be prejudice (and the within the lineage too) but I think I would fair out better.
So, if I were advising any one, despite their age, I would tell them to really research your person - NO MATTER THEIR RACE. Black people have some haters in their families too. So, seriously for me it's way beyond JUST a skin color issue. You have to delve into spirituality, mutuality, emotions, relations, likes/dislikes... just so much. Treat your next SO (significat other) like a career path. Make sure what you think you want to do today (or who) is the same thing you want to do (or who) tomorrow. It's not always easy but you have to make wise choices in order to guide some of your own path.
If you date a white person who's broke when you date, ain't gonna make any difference if he was Black or not. If he has no motivation for being other than... he ain't going to have it. Simple as that.
Just my 9.99 and no tax.
I know four inter-racial couples and all are estranged from their parents! the poor kids are missing out on grandparents and cousins because of skin color. The couples that I know are not rich but, they live well. Yet, the in-laws can't get past the skin color. They, actually, have nothing to do with their own grandkids. I tried to date a nice Jewish guy and I like him very much. The thing that bothered me most about him was the fact that we didn't see eye to eye on matters of race. If I felt something was racially motivated he felt that I was reading too much into it. I don't expect people to always see things my way but, I do expect them to see a possibility. If you have never been discriminated against, how can you calm me when I have? What can you say? Do you really believe me or are you patronizing me? I want a like mind! There's ya tax! LOL
Good points Tluv, but Jews are discriminated against, so can I have my tax back? AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jews tend to discriminate, also. I am talking about people in position to discriminate. I have had many of my white friends say that certain instances were not "racial profiling." They love to say that slavery is over let's get over it! Failing to remember that those times shaped the black family unit! Or lack thereof! I can forgive the slavery but, I will not forget it! Racism is alive and well today! Read some of the comments on these blogs that anonymous white people leave! They are still on that racist ish!
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